All of Captain Joan Smith Grey’s best friends gathered in Arlington National Cemetery at her Funeral Mass on January 23rd. There are hundreds of us! Our tribute began at a funeral Mass at Old Post Chapel.

Colonel Dan G. Grey, her husband (and hairdresser!) gave a moving, memorable and compassionate eulogy that captured her essence and enhanced her spiritual presence among us. Even though it has been over two years since she donated her body to science, not an eye was dry listening to Dan’s compelling tribute to a remarkable woman.

In spite of having trouble with my clearance to enter the historic Arlington National Cemetery, I made it to the Old Post Chapel in time, Joan’s immortal words, the well-deserved chiding, ringing in my ears: If you are going to be late, don’t bother coming.

Fortunately, I heard Dan speak about Joan’s GG legacies – her grit and grace, her Harvard master’s thesis turned into a guidebook on dying, Good Goodbyes, and her favorite role, Grandma Grey. Dan highlighted some of Joan’s many accomplishments and recalled some of the extreme challenges she faced in her life, with her usual grace and grit.

Joan guided and mentored so many of us Best Friends. We witnessed her courage and humility (grit and grace) in action in the choices she made and the wonder of her triumphs and achievements. We read her book, and use her principles to guide our own paths, and we witnessed her joy at excelling at her role of ‘GG’ – Grandma Grey. And all our lives are the richer for it.

I hope it is part of her heavenly journey to let her spirit continually connect with us and guide us. Her influence and presence is still so strong. One of Joan’s superpowers was finding common ground with everyone she met. She formed groups and created community every place she landed, stationed from Europe to Florida, to Missouri and Washington D.C.. Many friends, from all of her different walks of life, came to honor her.

At the reception following the celebration of her life I enjoyed talking with some of her amazing best friends.

Men and women from the U.S. Military Academy at West Point’s historic class of 1980 were gathered en masse, each one astounding me with their accomplishments and leadership roles. Most are now enjoying a second career, or volunteering for causes they have championed, still making our world a better place. Joan founded book clubs, a Namaste group, prayer groups, and accountability circles. She became a Chaplin at a hospital, and helped patients to cope with life and death’s difficulties. She taught classes and gave seminars on spirituality practices and on living a good life and preparing for a good death. At each group she made more friends. I was lucky enough to meet and converse with members of these communities. (More ‘in depth interview’ blogs to follow.)

As her spirit still guides us and connects us, let us stay connected with each other and carry on her work.

1. © Jane F. Collen  January 28, 2025 Keeping Joan’s Spirit With Us IndexCardCure.com™