Every person touched by my co-blogger, Joan Mary Smith Grey, continues to spread her good virtues! Many of her ‘sisters’ have contacted me, on this, her birthday, connecting with her compassion and lessening our pain at losing her physical presence.
Befriend a ‘Sister’. Joan made it her job to connect with women. She met people where they were and elevated them to a higher consciousness. She organized and ran many groups, promoting commonality of purpose and pursuit of a useful, meaningful life. The champion of personal growth, Joan encouraged us to become our best selves. In her honor and to perpetuate her legacy, many of her former ‘students’ carry on this work, lending a helping hand to all, especially those enduring a particularly difficult phase of life.
Living into her virtues. A friend of mine introduced me to another path to keep Joan’s spirit with me. She told me she holds her own mother’s spirit closer to herself when she consciously adopts her mother’s strong characteristics as her own. Joan’s friend Kris feels many a wise thought wandering into her mind comes from Joan. I love this idea of continuing Joan’s work to lessen my environmental impact, connect with others, and lead a more purposeful life through living into Joan’s virtues.
N.U.T.S. The queen of tagging an issue with an acronym, Joan introduced me to: Nagging Unfinished Tasks. Trust me, I had a list of them, I just did not identify them properly. Joan formed many accountability groups, and invited me to join one; a virtual SEA circle, whereby every month we list things we want to accomplish and then get feedback from the other women in the group. When tasks appeared repeatedly, the group helped discern why that task could not seem to get completed. (Go to DMV to do anything car related – no need for a group to tell me why that stayed unfinished!) I still feel Joan looking over my shoulder when I transfer an unfinished task to the new month’s list. I’m determined to cross all the N.U.T.s off this month!
Good Goodbyes. Joan’s most tangible legacy is her book, Good Goodbyes, A Mortal’s Guide to Life. (She and I privately called it “Dying for Dummies: ‘how to’ face the inescapable challenge of dying.”) Joan makes the taboo subject approachable and provides a checklist to prepare ourselves and our loved ones for the inevitable. The book does not make the process any less sad, but it does make the unknowable less formidable. Living into her virtue, I am helping her husband get the book into the hands of as many readers as possible. And, typical of Joan, all proceeds go to a charity.
Joan, we all miss you and pray for you. Thanks for helping us keep the faith and find our own paths.
© Jane F. Collen February 2, 2024 IndexCardCure.com™ That’s the Spirit!
IndexCardCure™ 
Happy birthday Joan. You made us all better. Miss you
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Thank you, Donna, for adding your thoughts. All I can say is “Amen!”
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Hi Jane,
Thank you, thank you, thank you for the legacy IndexCardCure for Joan. You did a great job of putting our thoughts into words about Joan. I will miss her forever!!!!
Ginny Franco
703-919-5763
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Ginny — It is my way of appreciating you and all of Joan’s sisters. You are an amazing person, and you are living into her virtues, adding them on top of your own!
Keep the spirit alive!
jane
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Thank you for this post – I miss Joan dearly and was inspired to go through my collection of cookbooks yesterday- keeping only the ones that I use. Reviewing each cookbook brings back memories of good times and old friends. I’m passing some of them on to family or friends – donating the rest to our local library.
Completing a review of our extensive book collection is next – I recently donated 170 children’s books to the library- paring down to only the most treasured stories.
Going through my scarf collection is next on my list. Scarves were my souvenirs from places we traveled- so each one is a memory of people we met and countries we’ve visited – but I can’t possibly wear them all – I will keep only my favorites!
I think of Joan often – and my heart aches – but what a blessing that she continues to have such a positive impact on so many lives.
Mary
Sent from my iPad
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Mary, Thank you so much for your comment. It’s another gift from Joan, hearing from people who carry her in their hearts.
You are inspiring me to dig deeper into the piles of stuff I have accumulated. Wow. You have made amazing progress. And I love that you showed the benefits of curating, because I dread it so. I see now that means I am depriving myself of the joy you received, going through the books, re-living the memories and then passing the treasures on to others. Thank you for sharing that.
And what joy your donation of children’s books will generate. Yet another study confirms – children exposed to books, especially if they have books in their home, are far more likely to succeed in school. You are helping make that possible.
Yes – on to the scarves (I have some too, but maybe not as carefully and purposefully collected.) And I need to tap into my resources – a ‘cousin’ who is a set and costume designer started a warehouse. I am a sporadic donator. I have been gratified to see some of my and my mother’s clothing in movies and music videos. Anything I donate that my cousin has no need for goes to charity. It is all good!
The blessings continue.
jane
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Jane will always be with us in Spirit and in our hearts. Her legacy is an inspiration of all the best things a ‘friend” is.
Thank you for this tribute.
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What a beautiful homage to Joan that captures her spirit so well. The N.U.T.S. is Joan whispering in my ear to keep working on my list. Thank you, Jane.
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