After Joan got her diagnosis I made a point of trying to see her in person every few weeks. (My first husband and I got pretty good at keeping ourselves awake and entertained on the New Jersey Turnpike. Sometimes the drive from Connecticut to Washington DC seemed endless.)

On one of these many visits I arrived to find Joan had assembled a bag of books from her library to give to me. And sitting on top of the bag was an amazing old fashioned school bell. The kind Sister Maria used to ring to stop all the children playing in the parking lot. (That was our ‘playground’ in my parish elementary Catholic School in New Jersey in the 60s). At the first ring we had to stop and be quiet. At the second ring we had to form a line with our class in the spot designated for our grade and at the third ring the lines had to start walking, silently, in order, into the building. It’s a great bell with lots of stories in it. Who doesn’t love ringing it?

This thoughtful passing on of books of wisdom and mementos filled me with bittersweet joy. I thanked Joan for this generous gift. She looked around her study and told me to take as many books as I wanted, she did not really have a plan for where the rest of them should end up.  There were hundreds.

We spent some time culling through the mindfully collected library, chatting and laughing. In the end I left with the bag and three full boxes.

I have one box in the ‘mud room’ of my house, and over the time since Joan has passed away I look through the books. I have already read quite a few of them, but the ones remaining seem to all concern spiritual practices.

I shied away.

I picked up Seven Sacred Pauses by Macrina Wiederkehr.  I put it on my nightstand and stared at it every night for about a month. Even the name of the book seemed daunting. And what kind of a name is “Macrina”?

It turns out she is a monastic Benedictine nun living in Fort Smith, Arkansas.

Ok. Not my usual go-to read.

Finally I just had to open the book. I usually never read the Foreword. But this subject matter was so formidable to me, I thought I had better ease into it. Now I see that Joan is still teaching me, directly from her angelic state. The Foreword begins with an anecdote about an experience the author shared with Madeleine L’Engle.

My favorite writer.

This hooked me into further reading.

The most important gem I have found so far is a concept I have believed and expressed in slightly different words for a long time.

“Each hour has its own unique mood and special grace.”

—Macrina Weiderkehr O.S.B.

Joan guided me to a book that will help me stay mindful of this concept. It turns out this message is exactly what I need at this moment in my journey. And just like our altruistic, but extremely practical Joan, this book will provide a ‘how to’ incorporate this practice into daily life.

“No matter what you are doing, you can pause to touch the grace of the hour.”

Thanks Joan.

©Jane F. Collen, April 14, 2024 IndexCard Cure™every age has its beauty